NYT: How to Build Resilience in Midlife

Posted on by doctorsuzana

This is an excerpt of an article that appeared in The New York Times; the below emphases in bold and italics are mine.  Reframing is an important part of my work with patients: we have a tendency to focus on the negatives in life and to return to these thoughts; this habit can limit our ability to learn from positive experiences, transform them into touchstones of resilience, and use them to support our positive future actions.

By TARA PARKER-POPE

JULY 25, 2017

Well – Mind

How to Build Resilience in Midlife

Much of the scientific research on resilience — our ability to bounce back from adversity — has focused on how to build resilience in children. But what about the grown-ups?

While resilience is an essential skill for healthy childhood development, science shows that adults also can take steps to boost resilience in middle age, which is often the time we need it most. Midlife can bring all kinds of stressors, including divorce, the death of a parent, career setbacks and retirement worries, yet many of us don’t build the coping skills we need to meet these challenges.

The good news is that some of the qualities of middle age — a better ability to regulate emotions, perspective gained from life experiences and concern for future generations — may give older people an advantage over the young when it comes to developing resilience, said Adam Grant, a management and psychology professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

“There is a naturally learnable set of behaviors that contribute to resilience,” said Dr. Grant, who, with Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook, wrote the book “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy.” “Those are the behaviors that we gravitate to more and more as we age.”

Scientists who study stress and resilience say it’s important to think of resilience as an emotional muscle that can be strengthened at any time. While it’s useful to build up resilience before a big or small crisis hits, there still are active steps you can take during and after a crisis to speed your emotional recovery….

…Here are some of the ways you can build your resilience in middle age.

■ Practice Optimism. Optimism is part genetic, part learned. So if you were born into a family of Eeyores, you can still find your inner Tigger. Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of a dire situation. After a job loss, for instance, many people may feel defeated and think, “I’ll never recover from this.” An optimist would acknowledge the challenge in a more hopeful way, saying, “This is going to be difficult, but it’s a chance to rethink my life goals and find work that truly makes me happy.”

While it sounds trivial, thinking positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people really does help. Dr. Steven Southwick, a psychiatry professor at Yale Medical School and Dr. Charney’s co-author, notes that optimism, like pessimism, can be infectious. His advice: “Hang out with optimistic people.”

■ Rewrite Your Story. When Dr. Charney was recovering from the shooting, he knew that his life was forever changed, but he reframed the situation, focusing on the opportunity the setback presented. “Once you are a trauma victim it stays with you,” he said. “But I knew I could be a role model. I have thousands of students watching my recovery. This gives me a chance to utilize what I’ve learned.”….

….■ Don’t Personalize It. We have a tendency to blame ourselves for life’s setbacks and to ruminate about what we should have done differently. In the moment, a difficult situation feels as if it will never end. To bolster your resilience, remind yourself that even if you made a mistake, a number of factors most likely contributed to the problem and shift your focus to the next steps you should take….

….■ Remember Your Comebacks. When times are tough, we often remind ourselves that other people — like war refugees or a friend with cancer — have it worse. While that may be true, you will get a bigger resilience boost by reminding yourself of the challenges you personally have overcome.

“It’s easier to relate to your former self than someone in another country,” said Dr. Grant. “Look back and say, ‘I’ve gone through something worse in the past. This is not the most horrible thing I have ever faced or will ever face. I know I can deal with it.’”

■ Support Others. Resilience studies show that people are more resilient when they have strong support networks of friends and family to help them cope with a crisis. But you can get an even bigger resilience boost by giving support.

In a 2017 study of psychological resilience among American military veterans, higher levels of gratitude, altruism and a sense of purpose predicted resiliency.

“Any way you can reach out and help other people is a way of moving outside of yourself, and this is an important way to enhance your own strength,” said Dr. Southwick. “Part of resilience is taking responsibility for your life, and for creating a life that you consider meaningful and purposeful. It doesn’t have to be a big mission — it could be your family. As long as what you’re involved in has meaning to you, that can push you through all sorts of adversity.”

■ Take Stress Breaks. Times of manageable stress present an opportunity to build your resilience. “You have to change the way you look at stress,” said Jack Groppel, co-founder of the Johnson & Johnson Human Performance Institute, which recently began offering a course on resilience. “You have to invite stress into your life. A human being needs stress; the body and the mind want stress.”

The key, Dr. Groppel said, is to recognize that you will never eliminate stress from your life. Instead create regular opportunities for the body to recover from stress — just as you would rest your muscles between weight lifting repetitions. Taking a walk break, spending five minutes to meditate or having lunch with a good friend are ways to give your mind and body a break from stress.

“Stress is the stimulus for growth, and recovery is when the growth occurs,” said Dr. Groppel. “That’s how we build the resilience muscle.”

■ Go Out of Your Comfort Zone. Resilience doesn’t just come from negative experience. You can build your resilience by putting yourself in challenging situations. Dr. Groppel is planning to climb Mount Kilimanjaro with his son. Take an adventure vacation. Run a triathlon. Share your secret poetry skills with strangers at a poetry slam.

“There is a biology to this,” said Dr. Charney. “Your stress hormone systems will become less responsive to stress so you can handle stress better. Live your life in a way that you get the skills that enable you to handle stress.”

 

New York Magazine: Psychologists Think They Found the Purpose of Depression

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Students of evolution have long wondered which psychological profiles provide an evolutionary advantage to an individual, group, or species, a question whose complexity is compounded in the study of human history by the observation that many of those who have achieved notable successes within societies  — and who have survived to pass along their genetic material — nevertheless evidence major psychological weaknesses and pathologies in their psyches.  In other words, what might be evolutionarily limiting, even fatal, for a species, may seem to be beneficial, at least in the short term, for individuals and families….This line of questioning has lead some psychologists to wonder whether certain psychological pathologies, despite being being exactly that — illnesses to be combated — are nevertheless a form of the human animal trying to help itself become healthier by prompting a self-healing reaction.  The excerpt below summarizes an article which discusses some of research being done in this fascinating area of enquiry, focusing on depression as viewed through this theory: depression as a state in which the body is trying to tell an individual to take therapeutic steps toward healing his or her own life.

Excerpt from:

Psychologists Think They Found the Purpose of Depression

By Drake Baer
New York Magazine
February 9, 2017

Depression is pervasive: In 2015, about 16 million — or 6.7 percent of — American adults had a major depressive episode in the past year. Major depression takes the most years off of American lives and accounts for the most years lived with disability of any mental or behavioral disorder. It is also expensive: From 1999 to 2012, the percentage of Americans on antidepressants rose from an estimated 6.8 to 12 percent. The global depression drug market is slated to be worth over $16 billion by 2020.

The National Institute of Mental Health defines a major depressive episode as “a period of two weeks or longer during which there is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure, and at least four other symptoms that reflect a change in functioning, such as problems with sleep, eating, energy, concentration, and self-image.” This falls in line with what Matthew Hutson, in a new feature for Nautilus, describes as the disease model of depression: that depression is “a breakdown, a flaw in the system, something to be remedied and moved past.” In his compelling and challenging piece, Hutson profiles several researchers who advance an argument that depression can serve a possibly positive purpose in the lens of evolution. But rather than deifying evolution and trying to scry out what it meant for us, let’s focus on what’s more immediately useful for lived human lives today: that, in some circumstances, depression may be, in the arc of a life, yielding of insights and personal meaning. All of this is in no way meant to minimize the suffering that depression can cause — but to suggest the uses that it may serve.

At the center of Hutson’s piece is Paul Andrews, an evolutionary psychologist at McMaster University in Canada. Andrews argues that depression may be “an adaptation for analyzing complex problems.” He sees it in the condition’s bouquet of symptoms, which include “anhedonia,” or an inability to feel much pleasure; people who are depressed ruminate frequently, often in spirals; and they get more REM sleep, a phase associated with memory consolidation. This reflects an evolutionary design, the argument goes, one that’s to, as Hutson summarizes, “pull us away from the normal pursuits of life and focus us on understanding or solving the one underlying problem that triggered the depressive episode.” Like, say, a “failed” relationship. The episode, then, is a sort of altered state, one different from the hum of daily life, one that’s supposed to get you to pay attention to whatever wounding led to the upset. For example, 80 percent of subjects in a 61-person study of depression found that they perceived some benefit from rumination, mostly assessing problems and preventing future mistakes….

….This framing of depression as a space for reflection is empowering, and lends a degree of agency to the person being pressed down. Like anxiety, depression might be trying to tell you something. The language of therapeutic traditions is useful: a Jungian analyst would describe depression as katabasis, an Ancient Greek word for descent. Like Orpheus heading to Hades or Luke Skywalker in the swamps of Dagobah, it’s a journey into the underworld, where the adventurer is to “go through the door … immerse himself in the wound, and exit from his old life through it,” like [sic] Robert Bly writes in Iron John. Since it is subjective, the problems and solutions will be personal — of the person and their particular psychological history — and thus demand the individualized understanding of the sufferer of depression, perhaps with the assistance of a skilled therapist. That’s another theme: While disengagement from emotionality characterizes depression and other disorders, engagement with one’s inner world looks to to be the way out. Put more poetically: You exit through the wound.

Most episodes of depression end on their own — something known as spontaneous remission,” Vanderbilt psychologist Steven Hollon tells Nautilus, noting that the depression-as-adaptation narrative may explain why. Indeed, “cognitive behavioral and problem-solving therapies may work precisely because they tap into and accelerate — in a matter of weeks — the very processes that have evolved to occur over the space of months,” he added. Katabasis leads to catharsis; not coincidentally, there’s a shared theme in the personal narratives of people who reach midlife with a sense of well-being and generativity toward others: redemption.

NYT: Attachment Theory: Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault

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I have long found Attachment Theory to be one of the most useful lenses through which to view and understand troubled parent-child relationships.  It is also a school of thought that can be a very helpful mode of self-study for adults seeking a better understanding of the roots of their unhealthy relationships….

Excerpted from The New York Times

Sunday Review | NEWS ANALYSIS

Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault

By KATE MURPHY

JAN. 7, 2017

We live in a culture that celebrates individualism and self-reliance, and yet we humans are an exquisitely social species, thriving in good company and suffering in isolation. More than anything else, our intimate relationships, or lack thereof, shape and define our lives.

While there have been many schools of thought to help us understand what strains and maintains human bonds, from Freudian to Gestalt, one of the most rigorously studied may be the least known to the public.

It’s called attachment theory, and there’s growing consensus about its capacity to explain and improve how we function in relationships.

Conceived more than 50 years ago by the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby and scientifically validated by an American developmental psychologist, Mary S. Ainsworth, attachment theory is now having a breakout moment, applied everywhere from inner-city preschools to executive coaching programs. Experts in the fields of psychology, neuroscience, sociology and education say the theory’s underlying assumption — that the quality of our early attachments profoundly influences how we behave as adults — has special resonance in an era when people seem more attached to their smartphones than to one another.

By the end of our first year, we have stamped on our baby brains a pretty indelible template of how we think relationships work, based on how our parents or other primary caregivers treat us. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense, because we need to figure out early on how to survive in our immediate environment.

“If you’re securely attached, that’s great, because you have the expectation that if you are distressed you will be able to turn to someone for help and feel you can be there for others,” said Miriam Steele, the co-director of the Center for Attachment Research at the New School for Social Research in New York.

It’s not so great if you are one of the 40 percent to 50 percent of babies who, a meta-analysis of research indicates, are insecurely attached because their early experiences were suboptimal (their caregivers were distracted, overbearing, dismissive, unreliable, absent or perhaps threatening). “Then you have to earn your security,” Dr. Steele said, by later forming secure attachments that help you override your flawed internal working model.

Given that the divorce rate is also 40 percent to 50 percent, it would seem that this is not an easy task. Indeed, researchers said, people who have insecure attachment models tend to be drawn to those who fit their expectations, even if they are treated badly. They may subconsciously act in ways that elicit insensitive, unreliable or abusive behavior, whatever is most familiar. Or they may flee secure attachments because they feel unfamiliar….

 

….One reason attachment theory has “gained so much traction lately is its ideas and observations are so resonant with our daily lives,” said Kenneth Levy, an associate professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University who researches attachment-oriented psychotherapy.

Indeed, if you look at the classic categories of attachment styles — secure; insecure anxious; insecure avoidant; and insecure disorganized — it’s pretty easy to figure out which one applies to you and others in your life. The categories stem from tens of thousands of observations of babies and toddlers whose caregivers leave them briefly, either alone or with a stranger, and then return, a test known as the “strange situation.” The labels can also apply to how adults behave toward loved ones in times of stress.

Secure children get upset when their caregivers leave, and run toward them with outstretched arms when they return. They fold into the caregiver and are quickly soothed. A securely attached adult similarly goes to a loved one for comfort and support when they, say, are passed over for a promotion at work or feel vulnerable or hurt. They are also eager to reciprocate when the tables are turned.

Children high on the insecure anxious end of the spectrum get upset when caregivers leave and may go to them when they return. But these children aren’t easily soothed, usually because the caregiver has proved to be an unreliable source of comfort in the past. They may kick and arch their back as if they are angry. As adults, they tend to obsess about their relationships and may be overly dramatic in order to get attention. They may hound romantic interests instead of taking it slow.

Insecure avoidant children don’t register distress when their caregivers leave (although their stress hormones and heart rate may be sky high) and they don’t show much interest when caregivers return, because they are used to being ignored or rebuffed. Alternatively, a parent may have smothered them with too much attention. Insecure avoidant adults tend to have trouble with intimacy and are more likely to leave relationships, particularly if they are going well. They may not return calls and resist talking about their feelings.

Finally, insecure disorganized children and adults display both anxious and avoidant behaviors in an illogical and erratic manner. This behavior is usually the lingering result of situations where a childhood caregiver was threatening or abusive….

….“It can also be possible that people should be viewed as along a continuum in all categories,” said Glenn I. Roisman, the director of the Relationships Research Lab at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.

It’s worth noting that just as people in the insecure categories can become more secure when they form close relationships with secure people, secure people can become less so if paired with people who are insecure. “You need social context to sustain your sense of security,” said Peter Fonagy, a professor of psychoanalysis at University College London.

 

Kate Murphy is a journalist in Houston who writes frequently for The New York Times.

Tips to Improve your Well-being in 2016

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Here are some worthwile ideas for practicing better self-care.

Excerpt from PsychCentral.com: 3 Jan 2016

For 2016: Stop Neglecting Yourself by Jonice Webb, Ph.D.

….We almost all neglect ourselves in one way or another, at one time or another. One could argue that the damage we do by neglecting ourselves is far more substantial than whatever neglect we experience from others.

Read through the common areas of self-neglect below, and see if any ring true in your life.

Common Examples of Self-Neglect

  • Not pursuing an activity that you know you would enjoy
  • Settling for a job that’s under-challenging or isn’t stimulating
  • Unhealthy eating
  • Not getting enough sleep or rest
  • Not developing a talent that you know you have
  • Engaging excessively in an activity that harms your body and detracts from your emotional health, like pot-smoking or using other drugs….
  • Generally over-focusing on other people’s needs while leaving your own unmet
  • Not exercising enough
  • Not speaking up for your opinions
  • Over-scheduling yourself so that you don’t have enough free time
  • Settling for too little joy or fun in your life
  • Neglecting to address sources of unhappiness
  • Spending too little time, effort or money on your appearance, a potential source of self-esteem
  • Depriving yourself of the freedom and pleasure brought by spending time in nature

Have you been neglecting yourself in these, or other ways? If so, rest assured that you are in good company, along with much of the human race.

Take a moment and try to imagine treating a child the way you are treating yourself/your body right now. Would you deprive a child of joy? Vegetables and fruits? Fun? Nice clothing? An opinion? Fresh air and exercise? Then why do you treat yourself or your body this way?

Now, at the very start of 2016, is a great time to stop the neglect and start giving yourself the time, attention, and effort that you need and deserve.

Five Steps to Cure Your Self-Neglect in 2016

  • Identify the area or areas in which your self-neglect has arises.
  • Write each one down. Seeing it in writing will make it more vivid and real and will also serve as a record to consult throughout the year.
  • Choose one item (working on one at a time will optimize your success) from your list, and promise yourself to improve on it in 2016.
  • Focus on that goal. Pay attention to when you fail to do what’s best for you or your body.
  • Track your success on paper or using your smartphone.

…The deep roots of self-neglect often spring from a lack of self-worth. Somewhere, somehow, maybe you don’t feel you are worth the effort of self-care…

… You can take charge of your own self-neglect with enough motivation, dedication, and perseverance throughout 2016.

Understanding Mental Abuse: Gaslighting

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PsychCentral: Understanding Mental Abuse: Gaslighting

By

Gas Light Movie

Mental abuse is difficult to assess. Unlike physical abuse where there are visible marks, mental abuse leaves no marks but its effect is just as damaging. One of the tactics of mental abuse is a term coined gaslighting. Understanding this scheme better can help prevent more victims and heal those who have already been victimized.

History: The term gaslighting originates from a 1944 movie called Gas Light. In the movie, the husband convinces his wife that she is insane through intentional manipulation. When the wife notices a dimming in the gas lights of their home, she addresses it with her husband. He, wanting his attic search to remain a secret from her, insists instead that she is imagining the difference and subsequently persuades her that she is instead going insane. Psychologists have used the term ever since.

Basic Tactic: Gaslighters lie about the past making a person doubt their memory, perception, and sanity. They are talented in taking a miniscule about of truth and surrounding it with lies. They claim and give evidence of past wrong behavior further causing doubt and insecurity. This paves the way for portraying themselves as the reasonable and logical party. Sometimes they go to the extreme of staging false events or proof to validate their deception….

Personal Implication: Gaslighting can be done on a small or large scale to an individual. It can be as simple as the Gaslighter claiming they have a relationship with an influential person when in actuality they have only met them once. Then they use that “claim” to further a career or agenda. Or, in a marital situation, the Gaslighter could allege they have one career when it is actually a cover for another. In either case, any attempts to assert the truth would be met with “you are the crazy one.”

What to do:

  • Relive the past. Look at past gaslighting events and pick them apart. Try to spot the moment the lying started around the sliver of truth. Recall any emotional reaction, insecurity, or feelings of guilt. Gasllighters tend to use the same tactic over and over. Studying the past is good preparation for the future.
  • Just the facts. Remember Joe Friday from the 1950’s TV show Dragnet? He was famous for saying, “just the facts.” Stick to factual information that can be confirmed and verified. Do not rely on data or corroboration that is dependent on the Gaslighter. When there is no valid way to confirm the evidence outside of the Gaslighter, don’t believe them. Since Gaslighters are natural liars, it is better to assume they are being dishonest.
  • Don’t react emotionally. Gaslighters feed off emotions to sway a person. While it can be frustrating in the moment to deal with the tactic, an emotional response will add fuel to the fire. Instead, be as impassive as Mr. Spock from the 1960’s TV showStar Trek. This will aggravate the Gaslighter and steal their control.
  • Go slow. Generally speaking, Gaslighters try to elicit a snap decision immediately following the tactic. Slow things down by saying, “I’ll have to think about that,” or “I need more time.” Distracting the Gaslighter or walking away can also have the same effect. This extra time allows a person to reflect on the logic being presented before making a decision.

While these methods are no guarantee that the gaslighting will stop, trying something is better than ignoring the issue and hoping it will disappear.

 

Can You Learn Self-Control?

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NYT.com: OpTalk

Can You Learn Self-Control?

By

October 14, 2014

Walter Mischel conducted one of the most famous experiments in 20th-century psychology. In the late 1960s, he oversaw a test at Stanford University using a group of preschoolers. These studies gave him access to children whom he subsequently tracked for decades, collecting data on each child’s education, health and other factors. Now, more than 40 years later, he’s published a book, “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self Control,” about the experiments.

In the marshmallow test, Mr. Mischel asked a preschool child to choose between receiving one small reward now (say, one marshmallow or one cookie) and waiting a short amount of time — about 10 minutes — to receive two rewards (two marshmallows or two cookies)….

…The test was designed to measure a child’s ability to delay gratification. The major problem at the heart of the test is the concept of intertemporal choice; that is, how we compare a larger delayed reward against a smaller immediate one. In study after study it’s been shown that our brains tend to undervalue a bigger payoff in the long-run, no matter what the objective calculation is.

In Mr. Mischel’s view, this is a test of willpower: the ability to use the brain’s executive, rational functions to overcome the immediacy — and emotional potency — of desire. In subsequent studies of his original subjects, Mr. Mischel found that children that were able to withstand temptation and wait for another treat were likely to have higher SAT scores, achieve higher educational degrees, earn more money and have a lower body mass index, an indication of healthy weight.

As Pamela Druckerman revealed in an Op-Ed for The New York Times last month, many parents (Ms. Druckerman included) subject their own children to the test, hoping to ascertain some glimpse of their child’s future. Mr. Mischel explains to her, however, that the results of the test are not destiny. On the contrary, self-control can be taught, and not only in childhood.

Mr. Mischel tells Ms. Druckerman that adults can learn from the children’s spontaneous attempts to resist temptation. Children were most successful when they tried to occupy their attention with something else — make up a song, say, or turn their back on the marshmallow — or transformed the object of desire in their mind, perhaps by imagining it as a piece of cotton or pretending it was smelly or dirty.

…Likewise, adults are better at avoiding temptation when they employ methods of distraction or distancing….

…Those habits can help us achieve what Mr. Mischel calls “a burning goal”: a long-term objective that requires consistent and often arduous work and attention….

…The key, all of these writers say, is to counter something that is emotionally “hot” — desire, temptation, emotion — with something “cool” — the brain’s executive function….

David DeSteno, a professor of psychology at Northeastern University, however, sees it differently. He argues in a detailed, fascinating piece in Pacific Standard that learning to deal with impulses isn’t so much about building up self-control as it is training yourself to appeal to certain emotions — that is, not countering “hot” with “cool” so much as tapping into the correct “hot” response. Mr. DeSteno argues that emotions that have a moral valence and prize a greater social good — responses like gratitude, compassion, pride — can also help us control our behavior in favor of a delayed payoff. These qualities have been selected for historically because they are more likely to benefit a larger social structure.

In fact, an emotional response might be more effective and less draining in helping us resist temptation, especially over the long term. John Tierney wrote in 2011 in The New York Times Magazine that making decisions is depleting and that we each have only a finite amount of energy for making choices in a given time period. Mr. DeSteno refers to similar research, writing that even small decisions like whether to wear a blue or a white shirt wear down our willpower. And our executive function can be used to twist any decision to our advantage…For that reason, “any strategy based solely on forcing adherence to a set of virtues through a bunch of cool-headed, cognitive strategies and a list of ‘thou shall nots’ is a fragile one….”

 

 

 

Ten Things I Learned From My Father

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Ten Things I Learned From My Father

By Ian Anderson, From Squalor to Baller

 

1. You’re not defined by the things you own.

2. There’s no hurry to make up your mind.

My dad didn’t start his career until his mid-forties. Before that, he dabbled in many professions – forest firefighter, mailman, writer, carpenter, engineer, and more. Each of these experiences has added to his complex character and has played a role in preparing him for the next step. As a kid, I assumed this was normal; it wasn’t until later that I realized most people are more direct when it comes to careers. These days, there is a lot of pressure on kids to get into a good college, pick a major, and then get a job; I was lucky to learn early on that less linear career paths were just as viable. 

3. Read and write every day.

… I’ve still come to appreciate the importance of reading and writing on a regular basis. It’s good for your brain and for your vocabulary (and it’s one of the reasons I started this blog).

4. Don’t let the sun catch you sleeping. 

… I have long since discovered that time for yourself in the early morning will do wonders for your mood, productivity, and well-being.

5. Be Handy.

…I spent a lot of time in college reading and writing about how things work in the world, but I’ve slowly come to realize that although being book smart is good, being life-smart is better.

6. Go Outside.

I was lucky enough to grow up in in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, where there are endless opportunities for outdoor adventures. For a mountain man like my dad, getting out of town and exploring the wilderness was not an optional activity for our family. Because of this, I spent much of my youth running down trails, rafting rivers, and summiting mountains. Looking back, I’ve come to appreciate the huge effect it had on my childhood and on the adult I became. Nature is a beautiful thing – go experience it. Go backpacking, rafting, biking, or whatever it takes to spend some time away from the mayhem of your daily life. 

7. Eat your Vegetables.

… Learning to cook for myself and understanding the core concepts of nutrition was one of the best things I learned as a kid. It only took a few months of greasy college dining halls to show me that a good diet and active lifestyle really are the foundation for a strong body and sharp mind.

8. Travel while you’re young.

9. Always have a hobby.

It should come as no surprise that I come from a long line of tinkerers, dabblers, and otherwise curious minds that put great value in breadth of knowledge…. I …always try to balance my life with a variety of activities that keep me well-rounded.

10. Smile. 

Nobody likes a grouch. Add some happiness to the world.

Know Thyself

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Personal intelligence opens a privileged window into our own minds as well as into the most byzantine motivations of others. Personality psychologist John D. Mayer, who codeveloped the theory of emotional intelligence, unpacks an idea that has profound ramifications for how we see ourselves.
By John D. Mayer Ph.D., published on March 11, 2014

A thought-provoking article that underlines the value of developing better self-knowledge – the better understanding of your self and how you are perceived by others.